Guster: "Gonna write you a letter"

This morning I awoke to the news that the president of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, had written a letter to President Bush. Being a man of letters myself (at least, so says the description of my alma mater), I was touched. Here we have a man well-known for being crazy, and he pulls a Robert Browning. It's downright Jerry Maguire even.

Originally I thought I might do one of these Kaavya Viswanathan-type deconstructions that have become popular in recent days. But after skimming even one of Robert Browning's letters, I realized that finding every overlap was going to be way too much work. Sorry, Mahmoud. ("Do you I mind if I call you Mahmy? No? How about this: Who's your daddy, Mahmy? No? Not funny? Sorry, it's much funnier in English.")

So, instead I just let my mind wander while watching the clouds pass above. I thought, if this works out for Mahmy, do you think he might start texting George? Here's how I imagine that might go:

"b - y u h8n? whtev. l8r."

That, in essence, is a 14-character synopsis of today's letter anyway, so why waste time making out a whole letter, Mahmy? I know you put a lot of time and effort into that letter, and, no, you're probably not going to get a reply. I know what that's like, believe me, and it sucks. But it's all a part of growing up and realizing your friends aren't who you made them out to be. Take heart, though; you're still a snappy dresser.